Keep in mind that each state has it’s own process for foster parent certification and policies differ from region to region. My foster care experience is in Northwest Louisiana, so if you are from a different area there may be different steps or policies in place. One thing that applies no matter where you’re located is that if you’re at all interested in seeing if foster care is a good fit for your family, a great first step is to befriend a foster family. You’ll get a front row seat to what it takes to care for children in foster care, you’ll be providing support to someone who will more than likely not ask for it, and you’ll be learning what to ask for from your support system if and when that time comes. If you don’t know how to strike up that conversation, find ways to come along side them and give a helping hand. (I’ll jot down a few ideas below)
Attending a foster parent orientation is another great way to get introduced to foster care. This would be the first official step regardless of what region you are pursuing certification in. This will give you a basic overview of what to expect and will also connect you with the training and next steps to take. Attending an orientation does not obligate you to take any further action, but it should give you the information you need to make a choice if you’re ready to take the next step. I’ll link Louisiana’s orientation calendar below, but it should be pretty easy to find by googling your parish or county and “foster parent orientation” (for example “Caddo Parish foster parent orientation” or “Franklin County foster parent orientation”)
Step two would be training. In our region, there are 21 hours (7 sessions) of required training before moving forward with your certification. These classes will go a little deeper into what types of circumstances the children that would be coming into your care may have experienced, and help you assess what your strengths and weaknesses are as a foster carer. You’ll learn some basic strategies for parenting children who have experienced trauma, and some resources that are available for these children, their parents, and you as a foster parent.
Once your training is complete, you will begin the home study process. This was the most stressful for me because it kind of felt like the final exam, and it was just pass or fail. You will be assigned a worker, and that person will come to your home on a few occasions to do interviews with the adults in the home and check to make sure your home meets the guidelines and safety requirements set by the agency. You’ll also be required to submit to a background check.
The final step is an approved home study. At this point you’re certified and ready to accept placements. Now the real fun begins! It’s a roller coaster ride, for sure, so be prepared for some ups and downs. None of us are waltzing through this, so give yourself some room to make mistakes and learn better strategies.
If you’re ready to take the first step, here’s some tips and resources:
Befriend a foster family
Here’s some practical ways you can come alongside a foster family, and in the process get a glimpse of what you can expect:
*Volunteer to bring dinner: I think people assume this is a small token thing but its number one on my list. Our first placement sent us into culture shock. We had no idea what to expect and we were quite frankly in over our heads. I simply did not have the time available to make dinner so we ordered out most nights. I remember looking at our bank statements and feeling the shame of realizing that we had spent over $400 at the nearest delivery restaurant in a single pay period. We were drowning, and drowning people don’t make good financial choices.
*Volunteer to babysit: Ask a foster family if you can babysit. Maybe even clarify that you won’t be offended if their 3 year old drops the F bomb and that you’re not going to judge them if the kids spend the entire time fighting. (I guess only clarify this if it’s true. If you’ll be judging them for the fact that their 3 year old can say f*ck as clearly as she can say juice, foster care may not be for you). Having a second to step away and breath and have an adult conversation with your spouse can sometimes be the difference between making it or not.
*Help them purchase clothes and other items for new placements: Not always, but often, children are moved in a hurry and don’t have time to gather belongings. This means that they will arrive to your home with nothing but what they are wearing. Our first placement was 1 year old and 2 year old sisters. They arrived with no car seat, wearing a T-shirt and a diaper with no shoes in February. The agency will reimburse a certain amount towards the car seat (spoiler, it doesn’t fully cover most car seats on the market) and a small amount for some basic clothing, but we were still stuck putting up cash for that on the front end and getting a partial reimbursement later. Having help covering those initial expenses is a huge help.
*Invite them places even if they have to say no most of the time: Parenting children who have experienced trauma is exhausting. Sometimes the idea of getting everyone in the car and trying to keep them from tearing up another person’s home doesn’t feel worth the effort. Having a friend who keeps asking, and doesn’t hold the “no’s” against them is really pretty huge. An even lovelier feeling is being invited back even after your children have shown up with their trauma on full display. I’ll never forget the time I invited a friend over for some front yard 4th of July “kid friendly” fireworks only to realize it triggered the 2 year old into a meltdown (duh. I should have seen that coming). Instead of bowing out when things got tense, she sat on the hot concrete beside me and helped me comfort the 2 year old, and legitimately seemed to enjoy herself. You’re a gem, E.
If you’re ready to start moving forward with training, here’s some resources for foster parenting in North West Louisiana. If you’re from another region, do a search for your city and “foster parent certification” and you should be able to find options available in your area.
Louisiana foster care information
Louisiana foster parent training schedules
Louisiana foster parent orientation
Louisiana foster parent handbook
Books we love
TBRI
We’re not even sorry for how obsessed with are with recommending TBRI. If you talk to any children at all ever, you’ll benefit from this training.