Hey Y’all!

Photos by Marli Johnson

It’s been a crazy year. Like real crazy. In some ways it’s slowed down, and in some ways it’s felt out of control. It’s been a time of reflection and deciding what things are worth holding tight and what things it’s time to let go of.

We’re also approaching our 6th year as a foster family. I’ve devoured every parenting/foster parenting/trauma informed class, blog, podcast, and audio book I can get my hands on to help me be a better parent, foster parent, advocate, and just a more rounded and empathetic human in general. There is so much information and representation out there, but one thing I noticed that I didn’t see much of was families like mine. I think a lot of times the representation of foster families looks like complete overwhelm, if we’re being honest. Large families, large sibling groups, medically fragile placements, complex trauma, or any other number of challenging circumstances. And while we have had our fair share of sibling groups, challenges, hard days, hard news, and hard yeses, we’ve come to a place where we have accepted that we are what I lovingly refer to as “light weight foster parents”. We accept one child at a time and that child should be the youngest in our household (what is referred to as “preserving sibling order”). Through many trials and errors we have found that this is the best way for us to protect the emotional wellbeing of the children already “forever” in our care.

That said, I feel like there is room to show how a “lightweight” foster family does life, and hopefully recruit more families to hop on board. The more “lightweight” foster families we have sharing the load, the less “heavy weight” foster families we will need. I believe there are many families who have the ability and desire to do what we are doing, and I want to show a picture of what that looks like. You don’t have to say “yes” to a sibling group of 5 to be a foster family (although if you’re on board for that there’s definitely a need! It’s always a benefit for siblings to be placed together in the same home.). Maybe you can say yes to 1. That’s one less child sitting in a strangers car at 2am waiting to have a place to sleep. Maybe you can say yes to zero kids, but you can be a support for a family who can say yes to having kids in their home. There’s a place for you too!

My whole point in all of this is to share what it is like to be a family like ours so that more people can see that it really can be completely manageable for an average family. We are nothing special. We don’t have some special skill set, or special abilities. We aren’t “heros” or “saints” (and honestly its so uncomfortable to hear that, because I know what a mess we are.) We are loud and messy and our family doesn’t enter any place without a scene. We are basically okay-ish parents who don’t mind if some extra kids sleep at our house for a while if they need to. So this will be a place where we share life and share opportunities to be involved in supporting kids and families who are trying to navigate life in the foster care system. I hope you pop in every now and then if you think you may be interested in seeing how very “average” and simultaneously wild and exciting life as a foster family can be.